Lover's Spit

[Photo Credit: Ali. K]

You know it's time
that we grow old and do some shit

Broken Social Scene - Lover's Spit

One thing I've learned about fairly new, young gay guys is the need to start a relationship. Homosexuals aren't on the endangered species list, so we should stop acting like it.

Another thing I've had the pleasure of learning the hard way is if you're hardly compatible as friends, the last step you should take is to start a relationship with that person. Unless they're hot, then at least the superficial part can keep you content.

But The Boyfriend isn't hot enough, therefore leaving me to deal with his personality. Which doesn't exist. Actually, I felt like I was bamboozled into this relationship. He was on the cusp of being funny our first few dates. It gave me hope. He was my diamond in the rough. Except now I've learned that he's more rough than diamond.

The saying "I'd rather watch paint dry" doesn't even begin to explain the levels of boredom he brings me. It goes beyond it. Fuck watching the paint dry; let me get a good whiff of the fumes and then the guy can talk about anything he wants.

I want to connect with someone on many different levels. I want romance. I want love, and the very fact that never once told him I loved him sums it up. I shouldn't give up and pretend that what I have right now is enough for me, that I should be happy with it.

For so many things in my life, I've been complacent, allowing myself to just take what's at hand, happy to take what I can get.

But this is one thing I won't give up on. I won't settle.