Clarity.

I don't know why meeting guys is so hard for me. It's like I produce a chemical repellent or something. Girls, on the other hand, flock to me like crazy. (There's some inverse relationship going on there and it's TERRIFYING.)

Today, for instance I tried striking up a conversation with a cute boy from my Botany and Anthro class. I know he's gay and in my mind that means we'd automatically click and live happily ever after with our matching chocolate labradours. Something along those lines, I guess.

I went pretty easy on him. I went the small talk route, asking about what he thought of the Botany quiz and other small talk type things. It was like pulling teeth. Nothing but clipped answers, and at one point he even turned his face AWAY from me while I was in mid-sentence.

Right after, class began and my brain went into overdrive. I questioned every angle of the situation wondering what I did wrong. Did I have a booger hanging from my nose? I bet there was, and I bet it was huge and gooey and it winked at him. Also, who talks about quizzes, John? He thinks I'm boring. God, I'm so boring!

But then my brain eventually made it's way back to reality, and it dawned on me: he's a dick and I'm far too nice a person to waste any more time on him.

That's progress...I hope.